Spider-Man (1967) Episode Forty-Three: The Vanishing Dr. Vespasian / Scourge of the Scarf

The Vanishing Dr. Vespasian

First Aired: April 12th, 1970

Synopsis: The scientist Doctor Vespasian manages to perfect his invisibility formula, which he gives to his dog before drinking some himself. He comments on what a fantastic invention it is. Shortly afterwards, Spider-Man is called in to see the mayor. A string of bank robberies has been happening recently, and the police are baffled as to how they've been pulled off. Spider-Man says he'll work it out. Shortly afterwards, we see Vespasian and a group of gangsters he's working with say that their target is Spider-Man, for some reason. They lure him to a bank robbery in place, but when Spider-Man arrives, he's attacked by Vespasian's invisible dog.

Some flour which is in the bank for some reason is spilled on the dog, rendering him visible, and so Spider-Man can web him up. The next day, it's reported that the crown jewels of another country are in the city, and so Vaspasian will try and capture them. Spider-Man meets with the mayor again, and it's mentioned that "the devices" have been placed. When Vespasian goes to steal the jewels, Spider-Man follows him, and activates one of the devices which, of course, covers Vespasian in ice cream. Spider-Man does this with a few different flavours of ice cream, revealing Vespasian and preventing him from escaping. Afterwards, Spider-Man quips that they creamed him.

Miscellaneous Notes:

• During the final robbery, Vespasian wears gloves, the only visible thing we can see of him. Not only is this a fucking moronic thing to do if you're invisible, it also implies that the rest of him is naked during the robberies. Why exactly was he working on an invisibility formula again...?

Review: Spider-Man defeats the villain by dumping different flavours of ice cream on him. That's not a sentence I expected to type, and no, I'm not making the ending up. I can't tell whether it's been done as something of a comedy ending, or whether the writer wrote the dog getting covered in flour and thought, "Yes, this is the only way this episode can end," - it's played pretty straight.

Anyway, what about the rest of the episode? Well, it's...just read that summary again and you tell me. An invisible dog? The aforementioned dumping of ice-cream? This might be the most Saturday morning cartoon-y episode yet. It's doesn't manage to hit that level of horrible which the worst episodes of the show have, but it's within viewing distance of it.

Ultimately, I think the story's weakness is down to how it does nothing with its concept. The way Spider-Man defeats Vespasian is silly as hell, but other than that, he and his dog could be any old bank robber. As mentioned already, the way they're defeated isn't great, so...yeah, not recommended from me.

Scourge of the Scarf

Synopsis: Spider-Man is relaxing on a building over Broadway when some strange rays start shooting out of the moon. Everyone in the street starts panicking and running away, while Spider-Man himself feels dizzy and soon falls unconscious. In the street, a gang of thieves, lead by the Scarf, emerge from below a manhole cover and rob all of the abandoned theatres. Later, they comment on how they'll attack the visitors to an art gallery using special paintings made by the Scarf, as well as how they were responsible for the rays from the moon using a gun they pointed at the sky.

At the art gallery, Peter Parker is visiting with his date Polly, saying that he's been interested in optical illusions recently. After the Scarf's main target appears in the gallery, all of the paintings release laughing gas, which sends everyone into a laughing fit, except for Peter as he covers his mouth with a handkerchief. The Scarf's gang rob everyone while they're laughing, but Spider-Man soon appears. The Scarf, recognising that he's out of his league, jumps into a hole in a painting which appears to escape - but when it leads outside, he finds the police waiting for him. As it turns out, Spider-Man spotted the chute leading out of the museum earlier that day, and tipped them off about it.

Miscellaneous Notes:

• After last episode, which had the animated debut of Mary Jane Watson, this episode features Peter on a date with, of course, the notable red-headed love interest of his - Polly! Wait, who?
• The Scarf mentions that it's laughing gas released into the museum. Granted, I can't recall any time it's been used on me, but I'm pretty sure that it doesn't send you into such a strong laughing fit that you don't care if people rob jewellery off you.

Review: Finishing watching The Vanishing Dr. Vespasian, you lean back into your couch with a sigh of relief. "Phew!" you comment. "After an ending which had Spider-Man defeat the villain by dumping ice cream on him, I'm sure that there's nowhere to go from here but upwards!" But, after a lengthy establishing shot of Broadway, your confidence drops. Although you're intrigued by the rays coming from the moon, it's not enough to offset how boring the Scarf is as a villain, nor how annoying it is that all of his words are muffled. As he sets up his plot to steal from the museum, you think, Can't they show us this, rather than telling it?

As the episode continues, you lose more and more faith in it. Even though they now have some limited animation of Mary Jane to recycle, the creators have introduced yet another new love interest for Peter Parker, and she's neither interesting nor relevant to the plot. The way the paintings in the museum act doesn't make sense, nor does the way the plot treats the effects of laughing gas.

It's when Spider-Man follows the Scarf out of the museum that your suspicions are confirmed: the Scarf really is that bland a villain, and this plot really is that unimaginative, as he folds immediately once he reaches the police. "How is this worse than ice cream victory?" you ask the television. But it doesn't answer you, and you know that you don't deserve an answer, because it's all your fault. You chose to watch this episode. You continued, even with all of the warning signs there. And when all is said and done, and it's over, you know that maybe you even deserve this story.