I've had a lot to say about Ultimate Spider-Man over the course of the last hundred-odd posts, and I've got a lot to say about it here, in my post-watching post, but there is something I'd like to say about it up front. I've been pretty critical of the series overall, and this post isn't going to be much kinder, but something that I will say in the show's defence is that it's hard to tell how much bad writing is due to executive meddling. I hated shit like the Sinister Six's ugly-ass "upgrades", but what are the odds that they were added in because some soulless being in a suit wanted to sell toys, not because the writers and designers thought, "Yes, this is genius"? There's no way to tell which pieces of bad writing were there thanks to the writers, which were due to writing constraints, and which were forced upon them, but with regards to the latter two, their presence is somewhat more forgiveable in the story. I can't fault the writers for going along with the bidding of their corporate overlords rather than resigning in disgust; they need money to live too.
Now, with that out of the way, let's ask the question: what does hurt Ultimate Spider-Man's quality so much, and makes me dislike it so much in spite of a pretty decent premise? Firstly, as I pointed out in more than a few posts, I think that the internal logic of the show is frequently faulty (and unfortunately, I don't think that this one can be blamed on executives). Taking a random episode as an example - Cloak and Dagger - Cloak is randomly able to be controlled by Dormammu, and Dormammu is looking to create an army of mystics when he already has an army of Mindless Ones, and doing so only attracts the heros' attention. The show constantly pulls things like this - characters do things only because the plot requires them to, or we'll be told that "Doing this thing will do the thing we want!" even when there's no logical connection between the two. I don't need some elaborate hard sci-fi explanation for why something works, but if I'm unable to suspend my sense of disbelief as frequently as I was watching the show, something's wrong. On a related note, the fights are also frequently subject to this logic, and very few of them were entertaining or well-choreographed.
A second issue I have with the show is that the writers fail to sell the characters very well. Everyone craps themselves when the Green Goblin appears, and he constantly monologues about how smart he is and how everything's going to plan, but he's more boring and annoying than anything. Peter talks about how much his teammates are his family, then complains about how they're living in his house and can't wait for them to get back to the Helicarrier. His teammates themselves end something like half the episodes in the first season playing a prank on Peter or laughing at him for something, and it doesn't come across as funny - it's spiteful. The writers have solid enough ideas for the characters, but the majority of the time they're executed poorly.
Another thing that hurts the show, admittedly not as badly as the above two points, is that it's frequently full of wasted potential. Spider-Man's teammates all move in with him, then move back to the SHIELD Helicarrier before half of the second season is even over. The New Warriors are gradually set up over the first few episodes of the third season, but quickly fade into the background and don't do much. Scorpion and Kraven the Hunter are set up as antagonists for Iron Fist and White Tiger, respectively, but soon become just another pair of villains in the crowd that's going after Spider-Man. The show rarely feels like it's willing to break free of the status quo, even when what's on offer is much more tantalising and different to what we've seen before.
The final thing I've identified (off the top of my head, admittedly) that hurts the show is probably one that a lot of people have an issue with when it comes to the show - it's really damn inane at times. More or less a year ago in my pre-watching post I said that I didn't have an issue with the fourth-wall breaking moments. How very, very wrong I was - I'd obviously blocked out my memory of just how bad the cutaway "jokes" in the show are, and they really bring things down a lot. Thankfully they started getting phased out as the show continued, but even once they're cut out there's plenty of childish stuff in the show (the stock scream Spider-Man gives when surprised or scared stands out). Apparently someone mistook "aimed at children" for "the writing has to be childish".
Still, the show does have its moments of competence - what does work? I like the Avengers, and that they're constantly presented as the standard the Spider-Man is striving for. I like Spider-Man's teammates (his original team, the New Warriors, and the spider-themed heroes) when we get a rare moment of insight into who they are, and when they're not there just to get thrown around by the villains. (Come to think of it, were there any times when Spider-Man was defeated by the villain, and one of his teammates saved the day?) I liked that pretty much all of Spider-Man's allies and supporting cast learned his identity and supported him once they did. I loved that Norman Osborn here mostly turned out to be a good guy, and that when cured of being the Green Goblin, he (eventually) stayed cured.
Yeah...looking at it broadly, there's a lot more bad things than good things here.
To wrap things up, I'll go over a few last miscellaneous thoughts before getting to the best and worst episodes of the series so that you, the intelligent reader, know what to look forwards to and what to avoid if you decide to check out this series:
- J. Jonah Jameson is really wasted here, and it's a pity because he's voiced by none other than J. K. Simmons. All he ever does is scream at Spider-Man, with none of the nuance or comedy that makes him such a beloved character. There's maybe two or three episodes at most where he actually influences or affects the plot, and even then I'd hardly say that his presence is essential.
- Speaking of Jamesons - remember when The Man-Wolf ended with John Jameson being held in containment? The writers don't!
- Another dropped plot point is the end of The Parent Trap - Luke's eyes started glowing, hinting that he'd get new powers, but this never goes anywhere.
- Agent Coulson is mentioned in Agent Venom to have disappeared on a "special classified mission," and that's the last we ever see of him. My headcanon is that his secret mission was to kill Nova, because everyone at SHIELD was sick of him but didn't want to be the first to say so. Although...I guess this means that he failed. Actually, I dunno, maybe he was playing the long game and a few seconds after the final episode he completed his mission. Okay, yeah, that works for me.
- Ava Ayala - White Tiger, for those of you not keeping up - is constantly presented as being obsessed with schoolwork and training, telling off the others most of the time when they want to have fun. It's meant to be annoying, and from what I've seen online a lot of people didn't like her, but it honestly worked pretty well for me - particularly in the first season, other characters are frequently so juvenile and irritating that it was nice to have someone with a clear head on their shoulders. For bonus points, the reason for her being so disciplined is justified very well with her backstory.
- I Am Spider-Man has Miles Morales listed as one of the students at the school, three seasons before the alternate Miles travels to this universe and eventually begins living here. I know it's just an easter egg for comic viewers, but still, it would be cool for them to meet, or for Peter to have realised, "Wait, there's a random student at my school who's your counterpart!"
