Ultimate Spider-Man Episode Ninety: Agent Web

Agent Web

First Aired: June 26th, 2016

Synopsis: The heroes of SHIELD Academy are playing volleyball on the beach when Nova suddenly appears. Before collapsing he gives Spider-Man a box containing measuring tape, a flute, and a perfume bottle, and tells Spider-Man to use the keys to rescue Nick Fury. Spider-Man recognises the box as being of Inhuman origin and asks Triton for help. Triton recognises the runes on it as being from a sacred city in Tibet, and reluctantly agrees to go with Spider-Man there. Once they're inside the city they find that it's full of booby traps and monsters, but Spider-Man uses the measuring tape to deactivate one of the former and the perfume to stop some of the latter. The duo find a giant egg which they suspect contains Fury, but upon breaking it open it turns out to contain Madam Web, who says that she'll help Spider-Man find Fury after he stops Mekano. Mekano, a robotic minotaur-like monster, appears, and Spider-Man's able to stop it using the flute. Madam Web then continues to explain that she can see possible futures, and that Arnim Zola actually attacked the helicarrier to get access to her abilities.

The mercenary Crossbones and some HYDRA thugs appear, holding Nick Fury in a tube. Spider-Man frees Fury, who wants Spider-Man to get away with Madam Web and leave him behind, but Spidey refuses. Triton and Madam Web get rid of some of the thugs using the traps of the city, and Madam Web tells Spider-Man that he can get both Fury and her out if he uses the last key - but there are none left. The heroes all retreat but get surrounded by Crossbones and his remaining goons when Spider-Man realises what Madam Web meant by the last key. He retrieves the flute from somewhere, and plays it to summon Mekano, who defeats Crossbones and his group for them. As Spider-Man's group leaves the city, Fury gets out a tiny box and reveals that he and Madam Web got what they came for. He leaves Spider-Man in charge of SHIELD and leaves in Spider-Man's jet. Moments later the Inhuman Royal Family appear, and while Triton assumes that they'll punish him for taking Spider-Man to their sacred city, they reveal they're actually there to give Spider-Man and Triton a lift home.

Miscellaneous Notes:

• She's not explicitly identified as being so, but this version of Madam Web appears to be Julia Carpenter, as opposed to the Cassandra Webb version who appeared in Spider-Man: The Animated Series. A few years before this episode aired Cassandra had died in the comics but passed her powers onto Julia; a change for the better if you ask me.
• In spite of being spider-themed, Madam Web's costume only has six legs on it. I checked to see whether this was coming from the comics, but as far as I can see Julia's basically always appeared in a red trenchcoat since becoming Madam Web.

Review: Ultimate Spider-Man's been of middling quality at the best of times, but do you know what really isn't going to improve it? Making an episode that feels like a second or third season episode of Spider-Man (1967). Seriously - Spider-Man goes to a remote location and fights a bunch of monsters which he defeats in dubious ways. Am I talking about Menace From the Bottom of the World, Phantom From the Depths of Time, Vine, Cloud City of Gold, Neptune's Nose Cone, or this episode?

The explanation that Nick Fury's been on the run with Madam Web and Nova is kind of a neat idea in that I am curious about what they wanted from the Inhuman city, but it makes no sense when you think about it for five seconds. Fury was taken away from the helicarrier by Nova because he was injured - did they double back for Madam Web later? If they haven't been able to tell Spider-Man where they are because they're worried about HYDRA infiltrators or whatever (which, for the record, isn't stated), why haven't they at least sent him a message telling him they're okay? If Nova has been helping them, then why is he suddenly okay with returning to SHIELD Academy and playing volleyball at the end of the episode? Speaking of him, what injured him so badly before he appeared at the start of this episode? The basic idea is good, it just doesn't gel with everything else we've seen in the season.

There's more issues with this episode beyond just that. Triton's back, and it's appropriate that his power is suited to swimming and whatnot, because he's possibly the wettest blanket I've ever seen. He's constantly whining about taking Spider-Man to the city, or worrying about the royal family punishing him, in-between going, "Oh no! Not the [made-up word]!" whenever the characters encounter literally anything in the city. Also - what's with Madam Web telling Spider-Man to use the last key only for it to turn out to be the flute? Why not make it that the box the keys came in is itself the last key, as a neat and logical twist? It's shit like this that really brings down the episode - and I haven't even had the room to describe how bland the fight with Crossbones is. Don't bother with this one, gang.