Ultimate Spider-Man Episode Forty-Seven: Blade

Blade

First Aired: October 5th, 2013

Synopsis: Spider-Man and his team are waiting in a graveyard for a special agent when they're attacked by feral humanoids. They're saved by Blade, who reveals that they're shadow vampires. Although Blade tells everyone to run Spider-Man insists that they should fight, and Spider-Man eventually gives Nova orders to create a burst of light which defeats the vampires. Everyone moves to the helicarrier since Blade doesn't trust the team with the package he's brought - half of an ankh. Coulson explains that in the past the full ankh could raise the dead, and that Dracula is after both halves of the ankh since it will remove his weaknesses and make him immortal. He also explains that the other half is in a special area of the museum, which sends Blade heading off to retrieve it. Nick Fury forbids Spider-Man and his team from joining in, saying that he's underestimated how dangerous the mission is, but Spider-Man and his team follow Blade and join him anyway.

In the museum Spider-Man retrieves the other half of the ankh, but Blade reveals that removing it from its cloaking shield means that vampires will now know where it is. Dracula appears from a portal and fights everyone, ultimately using mesmerism on all of Spider-Man's team to bring them to his side. The technique is ineffective against Spidey as he has mirrored lenses. Realising that they're in the greenhouse area of the museum, which uses ultraviolet lights, Spider-Man turns them on, which harms Dracula as greatly as if it was regular sunlight. The vampire retreats through another portal, but takes Spider-Man's team with him. Spider-Man and Blade return to Nick Fury with both halves of the ankh, and Fury reveals that he's called in a team of experts - the Howling Commandos, consisting of the Living Mummy, Frankenstein's Monster, and Werewolf by Night.

Sam Alexander is Actually the Worst:

• It's implied this episode is set on Halloween, as Spider-Man and his team mention eating lollies at a few points throughout it. When the team go after Blade to join him, in a showing of empathy White Tiger points out that, "We understand we aren't your first choice," which Nova follows up by loudly shouting "AND SOME OF US WOULD RATHER BE EATING CANDY!" Thanks, Nova, glad to know you care.

Miscellaneous Notes:

• In the scene in the graveyard at the start of the episode, Spider-Man objects to Blade killing vampires, commenting that "You totally chopped those guys! Real heroes don't do that, delivery guy!" Not five minutes later, he gives Nova instructions to kill all the vampires by generating a burst of light. I guess it's okay for Nova to do it, since he's already going to hell?

Review: There's quite a bit here that doesn't work. Spider-Man's snippy and contrary to Blade when the experienced vampire hunter gives his team orders on how to defeat the vampires. There's not really an adequately explained reason for why Spidey's team insist on accompanying Blade to the museum. Spider-Man removing the second half of the ankh is apparently a bad thing, even though Blade was going to the museum to retrieve it himself. Dracula acts less like a vampire, and more like a generic fantasy overlord.

And yet in spite of all of this, I'll admit that this is one of the more tolerable episodes of the show. It might be something to do with Dracula's plan - get magic ankh, become invincible, take over world. It's refreshingly simple in a show that frequently has me questioning its logic, and quite fun, too. Ending on a cliffhanger works quite well here, too - we know that Spider-Man's team will get freed from Dracula's control soon enough, but how it's going to happen should be entertaining to watch, and until then we can hang out with the Howling Commandos.

Aside from the issues mentioned above - Spider-Man's attitude is swiftly becoming one of my least favourite things about this show - I don't think it would take that much to make this a solid episode. Give the vampires more qualities of...well, vampires, make the fights a bit snappier, and I'd have very little to complain about here. It's not quite in good episode territory as it is, but it's within the same postcode.