Ultimate Spider-Man Episode Fifty-Nine: The Savage Spider-Man

The Savage Spider-Man

First Aired: October 7th, 2014

Synopsis: Spider-Man and Wolverine are in the Savage Land. After Spider-Man takes out a t-rex that attacked him he goes over their mission again - they're there to recruit Ka-Zar, a teenager raised in the Savage Land with natural hunter's skills. When they find Ka-Zar he fights them for a bit as his brother Zabu was captured by two people, but he eventually realises they didn't do it. They follow the trail of the villains, who turn out to be Kraven the Hunter and Taskmaster, and Spider-Man discovers that Zabu is a sabretooth cat. Ka-Zar refuses Taskmaster's offer to join him, and some darts are fired at the heroes. One of them hits Spider-Man and, as it contains poison from the Savage Land, it turns him into a spider monster. Although Ka-Zar wants to go after Zabu Wolverine convinces him that they need to help Spider-Man, and after a brief fight Ka-Zar uses the cure on Spider-Man - the fumes of a skunk-like creature native to the Savage Land.

Ka-Zar and Kraven leave the Savage Land in a jet and the heroes follow them in their own, but by the time they've reached New York the heroes' jet is attacked by missiles. Spider-Man and Ka-Zar bail out but Ka-Zar is soon overwhelmed by all of the sights and sounds of New York. Spider-Man helps him to concentrate and finds Zabu's scent. He's also somehow able to overhear Kraven revealing why he's captured Zabu - if he performs a ritual and eats Zabu's heart, he'll become immortal. Spider-Man and Ka-Zar arrive and stop him from killing Zabu, and Wolverine shows up and takes care of Taskmaster. Kraven is eventually defeated after a lengthy fight, but Taskmaster manages to get away from Wolverine. In the aftermath Ka-Zar admits that New York isn't for him, but he'll stay there and join SHIELD's New Warriors so that he can learn about the city. Wolverine, meanwhile, gives Spider-Man praise for the work he's done.

Miscellaneous Notes:

• The reason Taskmaster wants Ka-Zar is because, according to him, with Ka-Zar's natural skills he's a next-generation Wolverine. Ha ha, sure he is, Taskmaster!
• When Spider-Man and Ka-Zar are making their way to the final fight, Taskmaster grows impatient with Kraven and tells him "Less talking, more sacrificing." Kraven responds, "No! Everything must be perfect for the ritual to work...the sacrifice must happen at sunset. Which is now..." So, why did he say "no, I can't sacrifice him" if he was just about to do it anyway?

Review: Ka-Zar. Ka-Zar, Ka-Zar, Ka-Zar. Hmm. How do I feel about you? On the one hand, he's a classic Silver Age character even if he never had a lengthy ongoing, on the other hand he's kind of not really a good fit for superhero stories. I'm sure there are some good ones out there (if nothing else, I'd trust Mark Waid's run to probably be pretty good), but he really feels like he should be in stories that are a bit pulpier. I guess he's really a character that I want to like more than I actually do, and the point I'm trying to get to is that I'm not really sure why Spider-Man's decided that he wants to recruit him, nor for that matter why the decision was made to make this version a teenager.

Still, in terms of writing that decision's nowhere near as dubious as the magical Savage Land poison which turns Spider-Man into a monster! Where do we even begin with this? Is it artificial and the ingredients are from the Savage Land, or did some creature somehow naturally develop this magic over the course of generations? If Wolverine was hit with it would he turn into a wolverine monster, or a spider monster? What about Ka-Zar? What about the skunk-like creature who naturally emits fumes which can transform Spider-Man back? Look, I'm not expecting realistic biology from a superhero story, but you need to put in some effort, guys. I honestly can't decide whether it's stupid, or so stupid it's good. (But I do know that Spider-Man savagely rampaging around as the monster is pretty dull).

Anyway, as for the rest of the episode, Kraven's sudden decision to want to be immortal sort of comes out of nowhere, and I'd be willing to bet that it probably won't show up again, and hang on a second, shouldn't he be in jail with the rest of the Sinister Six right now? Taskmaster basically teleports offscreen the second the plot doesn't need him, and there's a lot of boring fights that you could easily cut without affecting the plot at all. I'm not a fan overall, but at the same time I can't deny that this show's given us much worse.