Spider-Man (1967) Episode Six: Diet of Destruction / The Witching Hour

Diet of Destruction

First Aired: October 14th, 1967

Synopsis: Spider-Man notices that all of the lights in Central Park are out and upon investigating, finds a giant robot eating all of the metal in the park. It escapes when Spider-Man has to put out a fire it started, but not before Spider-Man gets a photo of it. When J. Jonah Jameson sees the photo, he's sceptical of the robot's existence, although shortly afterwards he starts getting calls about metal disappearing all over the city. Peter goes out as Spider-Man to try and stop the robot again, but in spite of improving his web formula to try and hold the robot for longer, it doesn't work. Once again, the robot escapes.


Jonah later calls Peter up and tells him to go and take more photos of the robot. As Spider-Man, Peter finds it at one of the bridges out of Manhattan. He ties webbing around it, attaches the webbing to a nearby boat, and then drags it into the water. The robot sinks beneath the water, its menace stopped once and for all.

Webbing Does Not Work That Way

• When the robot throws cars at Spider-Man, Spider-Man shoots out a brief stream of webbing, which instantly forms itself into a dome around him. For bonus points, in spite of it being one of, if not the thinnest shield we've seen Spider-Man create on the show, it manages to protect him from literally dozens of cars stacked upon it.

Miscellaneous Notes

• So what's the in-universe reason for Jonah to be getting calls about all of the missing metal? It's a story alright, but you'd think that Jonah wouldn't be that high on the list of people to call about it.
• At one point in the episode, Peter is staring at an acetylene torch, bored, when he suddenly shouts out, "Walloping websnappers! That's it!" We never get any follow up on this scene or what exactly he had worked out.
• On that note, I can't remember whether Spider-Man has said "walloping websnappers" on the show before, but with the amount of times he says it in this episode, it almost feels like he's trying to make up for a previous lack of it.

Review: Well, it's taken us five episodes to get there, but the bar for quality has officially been lowered after the story about the aliens from Pluto. That episode might have had a bit of a clunky plot, but by the end of it, at least we got an explanation for why the aliens were in the story, and what they were trying to accomplish throughout it. This episode in comparison, doesn't bother with even handwaves. Why does the robot want to eat metal? We never find out. Who built it? We never find out. It's a McGuffin of a villain, existing only so that we have a plot, bare-bones as it is.

Normally, I'd try to fill out at least three paragraphs of comments here, but what more is there to say? There's a giant robot to fight. Spider-Man fights it. That's all you need to know about this episode, and there's honestly nothing else worth saying about it.

Fortunately, the second story of this episode more than makes up for this one.

The Witching Hour

Synopsis: Peter and Betty are attending a magic show of Grandini the magician when his magic tells him that the Green Goblin is robbing his library. Spider-Man shows up to try and stop him but fails and the Goblin gets away with a book of witchcraft. The next day, a classified ad arrives at the Bugle which J. Jonah Jameson reads out, causing him to get drowsy. When Spider-Man talks to Grandini about it, Grandini reveals that only one in a million people would be susceptible to the trance of the spell, and that Jonah happens to be one of them. While in the trance from the spell, Jonah is able to give instructions for a spell to the Green Goblin, along with the location of the Sceptre of Osiris, one of the key components of it.

Spider-Man arrives and tries to stop the Green Goblin, but is unsuccessful. He tries to stop the Goblin from stealing the Sceptre of Osiris, which is at Grandini's house, but is also unsuccessful in that. Having no idea where the Goblin will go to perform the spell, Spider-Man gets Jonah to entrance himself, and with Jonah in his entranced state, discovers that the Goblin will be performing the spell in a cemetery. He goes there and fights the Green Goblin, but is only able to win when the Goblin tries calling on the power of the spirits and they forsake him. The next day, Jonah is recalling the events to Betty, and reveals that in his entranced state, he ended up being locked up alongside the Green Goblin before being able to convince a police officer who he was.

Webbing Does Not Work That Way

• Spider-Man knocks over the Green Goblin's cauldron, spilling hot coals everywhere, which the Goblin kicks at him. Spider-Man's webbing manages to loop around the coals, and despite being pretty porous, manages to hold the coals without any of them slipping through until Spider-Man throws them back at the Goblin.

Miscellaneous Notes

• In case you missed it: Peter and Betty are on a date at the start of the episode! Good job, Peter!
• It wouldn't be for a bit over thirty years later, but the Green Goblin does eventually dabble with magic in the comics during The Gathering of Five.
• At one point, the Green Goblin throws what he calls "gremlin dust" at Spider-Man, causing Spider-Man to cover his eyes...you know, his eyes which are safely protected by the lenses of his mask already. Silly Peter.
• Judging by the whole, you know, magic aspect, as well as the Green Goblin at one point referring to Spider-Man as "mere mortal", I'm guessing that the creators only ever saw a picture of the Goblin from the comics, and didn't realise that he was wearing a costume.

Review: Where do I even begin with this one? If you told me the premise of this episode - "The Green Goblin wants to perform a magic spell and Spider-Man has to stop him," - I'd grumble about how inaccurate that is to the Goblin of the comics and how the writers clearly don't know a thing about him. How wrong I would be.

Unintentional as it surely is, this episode manages to be so audacious that it works. Peter ditches a date because the magician says that Green Goblin is robbing his library (something that Peter has no proof of)? Sure. The Green Goblin does magic now, and is apparently immortal? Sure. The Green Goblin is defeated when the ghosts he summoned don't think he's cool enough to hang out with them? Sure. (The exact quote, on that last one: "Destroy him! Oh demons! Use your powers!" "Bungler! You are not fit to join our evil band!").

On top of all of that, we have Jonah constantly getting put into a trance, most of the time thanks to him reading out the incantation himself. While it's never implied, it's easy to read into the fact that Jonah is one of the "one in a million" affected by the incantation because he's pig-headed, or because he's arrogant, or whatever interpretation you prefer. Speaking of Jonah, there's also some hilarity at the start of the episode when Peter shows him a photo of the Green Goblin and he insists that it's Spider-Man, just in a new costume. And when the Goblin flies into his office moments later? "Spider-Man! What are you doing, breaking into my office?" Jonah's often been a highlight of this show, but in this story he manages to hit heights far beyond what he's achieved in the past.

In spite of all of this, there's a few low points of the episode. Notably, the writers seem to have no idea what the Witching Hour of the title is. Grandini tells Spider-Man that he'll need it to defeat the Green Goblin - but wait, an entranced Jonah just told Spider-Man that it's midnight that night. But apparently the location is also relevant? It contradicts itself at every opportunity, but honestly, who cares? The rest of the episode is providing more than enough entertainment for me to roll with whatever the Witching Hour wants to be in its current explanation.

This story shouldn't work as well as it does, but it manages to overcome the odds and end up being a highlight of the show so far. Admittedly, you need to be open to what it's doing in the right way - I could easily picture someone finding this episode far less entertaining than I have. But if you are in the right mood for this? Then you're going to have a great time.