Spider-Man (1967) Episode Nine: The One-Eyed Idol / Fifth Avenue Phantom

The One-Eyed Idol

First Aired: November 4th, 1967

Synopsis: J. Jonah Jameson receives a small idol anonymously, and while he doesn't know why he's been given it, is happy to have it nevertheless. That night, Spider-Man is swinging around the city when he sees a light on in the Daily Bugle. He sees an entranced Jonah putting money into the idol when it commands him to. Spider-Man briefly fights an indigenous tribesman in Jonah's office but loses the fight. Spider-Man notes that the money that was being put into the idol has disappeared. The next morning, Jonah accuses Betty Brant of stealing the money since she's the only person other than himself with access to his money, and she quits in disgust.


That evening, the process of Jonah being hypnotised is repeated, only this time when Spider-Man intervenes, he's defeated and taken to the accomplice of the indigenous tribesman, a hunter named Harley Clivendon. Clivendon attempts to crush Spider-Man with a falling elevator, but Spider-Man is able to escape and after a fight, web up Clivendon. Clivendon and his accomplice are delivered to Jonah's office, and Peter is able to convince Jonah to rehire Betty by apologising.

Webbing Does Not Work That Way:

• Spider-Man is able to escape the falling elevator by creating a giant column of webbing between the bottom of it and the floor, which is strong enough to stop the elevator from falling. That's close to what webbing can do, but I still feel it's stretching it a little given the quantity of webbing used.

 Miscellaneous Notes:

• Betty's response to seeing the indigenous tribesman in the window of the Daily Bugle? "I just saw a horrible creature!" Needless to say, I have issues with this statement.
• Upon Betty quitting, Jonah comments, "There shouldn't be any women in this world! Just children, and men!" So, you know, in case the racism in this episode wasn't enough for you, there's a bit of sexism to fulfil your quota too.
• The indigenous tribesman is seen to climb walls without any apparent explanation.
• The main villain, Harley Clivendon, fits the loose concept of Kraven the Hunter, but with the notable distinction that unlike Kraven, he's pretty damn boring. Goodness knows why Kraven wasn't used instead of this loser.

Review: Hooooo boy. In case you missed it, this episode is pretty damn racist, and there's that line from Jonah which throws sexism into the mix for good measure. While I was hoping it wouldn't be something that would crop up too much (preferably, at all) in this season, I did have a vague notion that there might be a bit of values dissonance in it. I'm going to try and talk about the story without leaning too heavily into the racism in it, but if that's the sort of thing that can ruin an episode for you, then I really don't recommend this story at all.

So, pretending that the nameless, non-speaking racist caricature is portrayed in a much more nuanced manner and that Jonah is a lot less of an ass, how does this episode hold up? In a nutshell: pretty badly. As mentioned, the villain is pretty boring, and his plot is a pretty typical "I want money, and I want it from J. Jonah Jameson since he's a recognisable face to the audience" one. His method for killing Spider-Man is of course done in such a way that Spider-Man has an opportunity to escape (why Spidey didn't burst out of the bag they had him in earlier, no one knows) and his fighting style consists of taking assorted weapons and attacking Spider-Man with them, one at a time. I don't get a sense of menace from this guy so much as I do a sense that Spider-Man should have defeated him before he got a chance to react.

Looking past the villain, we end with Betty agreeing to work for Jonah again. While it should be nice to see Jonah swallow his pride, he's making the request to Betty in such a forced manner that it's obvious that he's learned nothing and will probably be accusing her of robbing him the next time this sort of thing happens. Betty should be smarter than this, too - does Jonah pay her ridiculously well, which makes up for this sort of thing? It's all such a mess of a restoration of the status quo that it doesn't bother with asking why that's the status quo, or with what could be done if the status quo were played with a bit. I know that expecting significant change in a show at this time is asking a bit much, but can we not see at least a minor shake-up? Apparently not.

Fifth Avenue Phantom

Synopsis: Spider-Man is in the city looking for the supervillain The Phantom, and identifies a store he'll probably rob. He enters it and places a Spider-Tracer on a coat before the Phantom appears and his robot accomplice, disguised as a mannequin, is able to defeat Spider-Man. The accomplice then shrinks some items with some beams from her eyes and places them into a small doll's house. The doll's house is later taken to the Daily Bugle as part of its toy drive.

Spider-Man follows the signal of his Spider-Tracer to the Daily Bugle, and is able to deduce that the items were shrunken. The Phantom appears and knocks Spider-Man out before escaping with the doll's house. When he regains consciousness, Spider-Man follows the Phantom but is ambushed and defeated by more of his robot accomplices, who take him to the Phantom's lair. They are ready to shrink down Spider-Man but he dodges their lasers and then manages to web up the Phantom, stopping his menace for good.

Miscellaneous Notes:

• The Phantom and his accomplices all use small pen-like devices which shoot lasers. They're constantly referred to as guns, in spite of the fact that they're clearly not.
• The Daily Bugle walls must be made of something really damn powerful, because the lasers fired by the Phantom can destroy chimneys, but only put small holes in the Daily Bugle. On the one hand, it's not inconceivable that Jonah might have gotten them reinforced to try and prevent supervillain attacks; on the other, that would have required him to spend money.
• So...why exactly are the toys for the Daily Bugle's drive sent directly to Jonah's office? Does he need to personally approve all of them?
• With his army of robots equipped with shrinking rays, funds from selling off stolen goods, and evil lair, you might think that the Phantom would have some cool getaway vehicle after stealing the doll's house from Jonah's office. And you'd be wrong, because he runs through the streets of Manhattan on foot, holding it like a complete dork.

Review: Can we please get back to adapting comic book stories? Just like Harley Clivendon, the Phantom is a complete joke of a villain. Admittedly, on the surface, he seems competent - those robots with shrinking rays didn't build themselves, you know - but in actual combat he quickly devolves into a loser who uses boring science gadgets to try and defeat Spider-Man. Maybe his goal is a bit better, you ask? Well, his goal is revealed to be to sell all of his stolen goods, and then with the money he accrues from them, to take over the world. I get the feeling that he's going to be at this for a long time.

If the villain weren't bad enough, this story also suffers from a severe lack of context. It opens with Spider-Man already hunting down the Phantom with no sense of what he's up to or what he can do, and from there we never really get a sense that there's been a proper plot scripted here. As with The Perils of Parafino, the plot points continuously change as though writers are forgetting what's happened previously. The stolen items need to be shrunken down into the doll's house...so that the Phantom can steal them later...but he's right there and can steal them right now? None of this makes any sense, and I'm constantly left feeling as though half the script is missing.

So, in essence: another forgettable villain, another ridiculous plot, another point against the 1967 Spider-Man series. I want to like this series - we've seen good episodes before, and we've seen episodes with potential that were still enjoyable - but it looks like the writers are losing steam after the first few episodes. I hope the show can get back on track for the majority of the remainder of this season, at least, because if we get more full episodes like this one, it's going to get more and more snarky as we continue.